September 10th, 2009 at 09:19am
Under Children+ Teens/Tweens
I have a learning disability. It affected me most
of my life. It has kept me from taking risks, exploring
new lands and living my best life.
I get lost. I get lost when we go out to eat and I
go to the rest room. You can find me trying to
get into the broom closet in the restaurant. I get
lost on family vacations and had to rely on my
school age children to navagate me around.
“No mommy, the hotel room is this way.”
Big cities freaked me out. Driving alone somewhere?
Forget it. Always lost. In every gas station asking for
directions. I used to have to allow an extra hour or
two for getting lost.
I was teased by my family and friends and I really
got on some people’s nerves.
I once didn’t go on a job interview because I was
afraid of getting lost. Let me tell you this…living
with this for almost fifty years has done a number
on my self esteem. For years I felt literally “stupid”.
Then two things happened. I got a GPS and I also
read an article that getting lost has something to
do with the innability to sequence. OMG!
I started remembering experiences from early childhood.
KG classroom, we had to listen to a set of directions
and then walk around the room doing them. The
teacher lost me at the second one. I was embarassed,
ashamed and cried. (I think she yelled at me.)
Don’t even get me started on Math. Major disaster,
struggle in school. Barely passed even with help,
dad, tutors. Talk about feeling stupid!
Here is a biggie…thought I might get a Ph.d in
psychology…but knew I’d have to take statistics.
Opted for the MSW…research methods I could
handle.
I can’t learn dance steps. I have to stand in the front
row and the teacher must be with her back to me so
I can follow. Once in a step aerobics class the
instructor told me that I shouldn’t come back because
my steps were not in sync with the class!
I can’t play any games with strategy…like chess or
even checkers without getting whipped really bad.
This is humiliating when your 4 year old beats you
and you haven’t let him.
But now, I have been freed! At least for driving to
unknown places. I take Glenda Garmin with me
and if I take a wrong turn, she politely tells me
that she is re-calculating!
I also know now that had I been tested as a child-
I could have had an IEP (Idividualized Education
Program)…Who knows? Maybe I could have been
a rocket scientist!
If you suspect your child has a learning disability…
get them tested.
Need assistance?
click this link and check out how to get help without
leaving your living room…
http://tinyurl.com/lt89tr
What a huge difference you will make on your
child’s life. Not just in school, but for your child’s
lifetime.
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Tags: IEP, Learning disability, Parenting Advice. low self esteen children
By Susan Epstein
August 12th, 2009 at 11:35am
Under Teens/Tweens
This past weekend we had friends over for the day. They are new parents. Their child is 13 months old. What a great day! We went to the beach and collected shells, played with water and then came home and played with the cats and the dog.
I went up into my storage area and pulled out a box. In the box were all my favorite children’s books that I had read over and over again to my kids. (Now 20 and 24!) Good Night Moon, Where the Wild Things Are, Go Dog Go, Hop on Pop, Amelia Bedilia, Runaway Bunny and more!
My friend told me that they were having their first experience with disciplining. Now that their baby was walking, he liked to throw his toys at the cat. He actually pulled our cat’s tale at one point. “What do you do?” I asked.
She said, we pick him up, remove him from the situation, and tell him “No throwing toys at the cat.”
I loved this! Because it is exactly what I would advise them to keep on doing until he is 18!
I know they won’t be able to pick him up. But they can redirect and correct. They didn’t yell or shame him and they
didn’t have to. He is learning.
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Tags: parenting without yelling
By Susan Epstein
July 6th, 2009 at 11:01am
Under Teens/Tweens
As you may recall, when I first posted this blog I asked for any other “stupid things school say” that you would like to share. And to make it more fun, I offered that the first five respondents would receive a free 30 minute Special Ed Strategy Session with me. Well it’s not too late to send them in!
Here’s a sampling of some that I have received to date:
A parent was told by her child’s school psychologist “that her son’s brain was like a bucket and it would only hold so much information and she needed to pick and choose what to put in there.”
When a parent was informed by her 6th grader with ADD that when he forgot his pencil (again) his math teacher humiliated him in front of the entire class. She reported this to the Special Ed Team Chair. Her response was “Teachers try many techniques with their students, but sometimes all that works is humiliation.”
The school psychologist’s evaluation summary stated that a first grader’s difficulties in school continue to be in social/emotional/behavioral areas. When the parents were reviewing his IEP they questioned why there weren’t any goals under the social/emotional category. The adjustment counselor explained “Oh, there is no such thing as goals for social/emotional behaviors.”
Please write back to my email mindy@parentingpowers.com or through this blog if you have some really stupid statements you’d like to share. If you are one of the first five respondents you will be eligible for a free 30 minute Special Ed Strategy Session with me.
Mindy Mazur, Special Ed Parent Coach
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Tags: ADHD, Dyslexia, Schools, Special Ed
By Susan Epstein
June 22nd, 2009 at 12:42pm
Under Children+ Teens/Tweens
Mindy Mazur-
Special Ed Parent Coach
Every time I think I’ve heard it all, someone in a school (usually a teacher) says something that makes my jaw drop. I don’t have any scientific proof but I would say that school year 2008-2009 was especially jaw dropping. I believe it could be attributed to the financial meltdown of our economy and the added stress it has caused. Cities and towns have even less resources to provide all essential services and a Free and Appropriate Education (FAPE) for our students. But this is not an excuse, it’s a possible explanation.
But I digress. “We don’t test for dyslexia” was an actual response a mother of a 14 year old was given when she shared the difficulties her daughter was having with reading. She also received two Fs on her final report card. The same mother was also told by another educator “that you are born with dyslexia so it would already be known by now if she had it.”
Even if they were correct, they offered no other solutions. They basically closed the door on investigating what was causing this student‘s reading difficulties. Not only were the statements incorrect, they were not in compliance with the No Child Left Behind (NCLB) federal legislation. The state must identify, locate, and evaluate all children with disabilities who need special education and related services. This is called Child Find. If a student is not making effective progress or has had difficulty learning a school professional may ask that a child be evaluated to see if he or she has a disability. Parents may also contact the child’s teacher or other school professionals to ask that their child be evaluated. Always put request in writing and if its hand delivered request a receipt. If sent through US postal service send it certified or registered. School personnel will have to sign for it in order to receive it.
I would love to hear any of the “stupid statements school say” you’ve heard. Please write back to my email mindy@parentingpowers.com . To make it more fun, the first five respondents will receive a free 30 minute special ed strategy session with me.
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Tags: Dyslexia, Special Ed, Special Ed Parent Coach
By Susan Epstein
June 16th, 2009 at 02:17pm
Under Teens/Tweens
With Father’s day coming up this Sunday I started to think about the many families I have coached and advocated for over the last few years. Many of the families were single parent families, all of them were single moms. These are families where the father is not present or involved at all. They are not giving emotional and/or financial support.
There is no one reason, diagnosis or disability that runs through these families as a common thread. What is consistent is that having a child with any type of special needs can put enormous stress on a marriage. When these marriages end sometimes the dad is still involved, sometimes he is not. It happened with my parents and in my marriage as well.
My dad who was child prodigy had difficulty accepting that his two young sons had below average cognitive abilities. My mom and dad separated often and eventually divorced. I’m still married (just had our 27th wedding anniversary), but our son’s ADHD and later bipolar disorder diagnosis was especially difficult for my spouse. He was an equal partner when it came to meeting with teachers and team meetings. Our son’s mental health started to decline when he was twelve years. He had some very risky behaviors that got him into serious trouble. My husband felt ashamed and was concerned about what people would think about his parenting abilities. This caused a serious depressive episode and left me as the “strong one”.
Parenting is probably the most difficult job any of us will ever have. Parenting a child with special needs even more so. Doing it alone…almost inconceivable.
Dads, your families need you. Happy Father’s Day!
Mindy Mazur, Special Ed Parent Coach
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Tags: fathers special needs children, parenting, single parenting
By Susan Epstein
