Helping Children Get to Sleep and Stay in Their Own Beds
Posted by Susan Epstein on November 8th, 2010 at 06:38pm
Do you dread bedtime? Does your child call to you after you have already read 3 stories, plus 2 and checked for monsters and lined up the stuffed animals and made sure that the door was ajar in exactly the correct position to your child’s specifications? Does your child get out of bed over and over until you are both exhausted and your child is crying?
Does your child demand that you lie down with her/him? And stay there until your child falls asleep? Do you find yourself drifting off and waking up two hours later in your child’s bed? Or worse, when you try to sneak out, does your child wake up and demand that you return? Or do you wake up in your own bed and notice the extra little body sleeping peaceful beside you?
If any of this sounds familiar then you are probably waking up exhausted in the morning, dragging yourself through your day and dreading this evening when it all starts again. How would you like to be able to tuck your child into bed with a night time kiss and have the rest of the night for you? And, how would you like to wake up feeling rested and refreshed the next morning?
And how would you like to have enough energy to make it through your day without needing a nap? And look forward to bedtime with your child?
How to:
- Remove the TV’s from your child’s bedroom.
- Buy a portable timer.
- Buy or make a special pillow or stuffed toy-
Tonight:
- Before dinner, tell your child that there will be a new bedtime plan. Give them the pillow or stuffed animal and tell them that this is their very own Magical Protection. It keeps monsters out of kid’s rooms and helps kids get comfy and fall asleep very fast.
- 10 minutes before bedtime, tell your child they get to choose 2 to 3 stories, their choice, but no more. After you read each story repeat “ok that was number_ story we have _ left.”
- Tuck your child in. Tell your child that you have a timer and are going to set the timer to go off in 5 minutes and that you are going to return and make sure that the Magical Protector is doing his/her job.
- When you go back, reassure your child that s/he is safe and tell them you will be back again in 6 minutes. Keep going back and start spacing out the checking.
- If your child gets out of bed, calmly walk him/her back to bed and repeat from the beginning.
- If your child ends up in your bed same drill. (I know you are tired!)
Do it anyway.
The average time it takes to retrain your child is about 3 days. (Sometimes more and sometimes less.) The less you give in the quicker your success will be and the more rested and peaceful you will feel!
Your Parent Coach,
Susan
Tags: bedtime, Children, children and bedtime routines, parenting advice, parenting powers, sleeping, sleeping problems, susan epstein
Under Teens/Tweens
1 Comment for Helping Children Get to Sleep and Stay in Their Own Beds
1. elizabeth rozeboom | November 9th, 2010 at 11:27 am
When we adopted two special needs children, we were told that they wandered around at night, looking in cupboards. We wanted to “head it off” before it started in our home. The first night here, I quietly said, “You may get thirsty during the night, so here is a water bottle for you. And you may get hungry, so here is a little food(small bag of Cheerios.) They were delighted!! Then I added, “because in our home, we don’t get out of bed.” Within weeks we “weaned” to just the water bottle. We read to them, and rubbed their back EVERY night. The youngest will still call out for me, and I’ll go to his room, and quietly and cheerfully say, “What do you need, because this is the last time I’ll see you until morning:)” He often wants some little thing, but I’ve calmly made it clear, it was the only time I’m coming back. If he gets up – which sometimes he does – I smile and say, “stay in bed – I’ll be there soon to check on you.” I’ve told them from the beginning I would check on them each night to make sure they were comfortable and well-covered. Lately, I’ve said, ” I’ll check on you in 10 minutes, just in case you need one more thing before sleeping.” I’ve also said, that it is best for their health if they lay quietly and get plenty of sleep. If very restless, I let them look at a book, and have a little bookshelf by their bed. I also feel, that as much as possible, the importance of a regular bedtime. If it’s 8 PM, then stick to it. Late nights – like family game night, some musical or sport event – are a special treat. Make it feel special – it is!
We have not experienced the “wandering around,” that we were warned about. My husband thinks it may be that I spent about 30-60 minutes each night the first year, just in reading, cuddling, before bed. When you feel you’ve nurtured and comforted for that length of time, you can also clearly put the limits on them trying to lengthen the bedtime process. I also have found that giving plenty of time to get ready, really helps. “You have 15 more minutes of play time, then we are getting ready for bed.”
I remember my own mother cheerfully saying, when we tried to call her after in bed, “no more sounds now.” There was joy in her voice, like she was doing us a favor. And then she would play some soothing music for us. We have also tried to have the house quiet, or just some soft music playing. Sometimes they listened to childrens stories on cassette or CD while lying in bed. Children can be afraid, even is it’s imaginary, books and music can really help.
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