Getting kids to chip in around the house
Posted by Susan Epstein on August 16th, 2010 at 06:54pm
Rewards often don’t work for getting kids to chip in around the house. Let me ask you, do you really blame your kids for not wanting to take out the trash, set the table, sweep the floor or clean up their rooms? Do you want to do it? Does paying them work in the long term? If you’ve tried the reward system, you know that it doesn’t work forever.
Here are some tips to get your kids on board with helping out around the house:
- Explain why doing the chore is necessary. A chore that is not fun or interesting can become more meaningful if you can show your kids that it is part of the bigger picture. Explain that if each family member does one small chore each day you will have more fun for the fun things your family gets to do…such as go swimming or watch a movie together. Draw picture of each person’s contribution and show how like a machine with moving parts each person’s contribution helps the house run smoothly.
- Say out loud…”Yes, I know that this chore is BORING.” Let your kids know that you understand that cleaning their room isn’t a lot of fun. This isn’t a lecture…it is empathy.
- Let the kids do their chores their own way. Don’t control them. You can tell them that you want the table set…but you don’t have to micro-manage where the fork and spoon go. Let them have fun and use their creative minds while doing their chore…as long as it gets completed.
- And if all else fails…use the Tom Sawyer method. If you remember the story, Tom is white washing the fence and he is not having fun….but then he gets an idea. He tells his friend that painting the fence is not a grim chore, rather a fantastic privilege. His friend asks to try but Tom won’t let him, saying it is way too fun. Finally, he gets his friend to give him an apple to try painting. Soon after, more boys arrive, and vie for the privilege of painting the fence. So..pretend you are so enjoying washing the dishes…make it look fun…Soon your kids will be begging you to help!
Tags: calm parenting, Chores, communication, family rituals, parenting, parenting powers
Under Children+ Family+ Teens/Tweens
1 Comment for Getting kids to chip in around the house
1. Megan | August 17th, 2010 at 8:42 pm
I love it! Next time I am doing the dishes or folding laundry, I am going to do the Tom Sawyer thing… even if it’s just for my own entertainment!
What works for my son is giving him a choice of two things: Would you prefer to fold laundry or do the dishes? Would you prefer to vacuum or mop? etc. This works really well. And if he isn’t motivated, I joke with him that I am going to tickle him. Light-hearted is good. And then a reward for doing it — usually something I was going to give him anyway like having some time to himself to read his favorite book.
Leave a Comment for Getting kids to chip in around the house