The 3 C’s…Calm, Clear & Concise

Posted by Susan Epstein on May 30th, 2010 at 03:10pm

Power Struggles With Kids Wear Out Moms and Dads

“Adam, get off the computer,now!”

“No I won’t and you can’t make me! I don’t
want to get off the computer. You’re not
the boss of me!”

This was much to much to bear. Ellen felt
her skin all prickly and hot and she was
shaking. She noticed her finger wagging
at her 11 year old son. Why wouldn’t he
listen? All she could think about was that
she HAD TO WIN!

“Adam, off the computer”, she hollered.

“No!” screamed, Adam.

She had nothing left to take away from
him. All day long this had been going
on. He had no TV for a week and Christmas
had been cancelled.

She heard a voice and it was getting
louder and louder.

“GO TO BED!!!!”

Ellen burst into tears and realized
that the voice she had heard was
her own.

********

I don’t know many parents who
wouldn’t be able to relate to this
scene. Feeling powerless against
your own child is one of the
worst feelings a parent can
have.

Have you ever…

=> Over punished and felt guilty and trapped?

=> Felt totally ineffective and backed off or
given in?

=> Felt mortified that you were so out of
control that you didn’t recognize yourself?

If so…read on…

You can be a calm and
be an effective parent who gets results.
Whether it’s bedtime, mealtime, homework,
or disrespect…

Remain calm

Be clear about your expectations

Use as few words as possible

Here is a formula:

Just state the facts:

“You have been on the computer for an hour. It is now time to go to bed.”

How you feel…

“I feel happy that you have had a chance to use it.”

Polite request:

“Please log off now.”

“Thank you”

Give this a try and let me know how it works.

Wishing you a peaceful home…
Parent Coach Susan

Tags: parenting advice, Parenting Calm, parenting help

Under ADHD+ Children+ Family+ Teens/Tweens