Don’t let the Light go out

Posted by Susan Epstein on December 21st, 2009 at 04:57pm

The last night of Chanukah ended this past Friday. As I put my Menorah away for another year I thought back to my childhood. I loved Chanukah, lighting the Menorah, eating potato latkes and getting a really great gift. My family did not give a gift every night, just one big one. One year it was a Chatty Cathy doll (I know I’m dating myself) another year was a birthstone ring. Some of my friends who did receive a gift a night got things like a pencil one night and an eraser the next. Not too thrilling.

I never felt deprived growing up that we didn’t celebrate Christmas. Although one year I did try to make a Chanukah bush out of an umbrella (wasn’t too successful). I loved the beautiful lights and decorations. My family would take a drive out to Long Island to view this one incredible home display. Every year we would walk down Fifth Avenue and look at the amazing store front windows. We’d go to Rockefeller Center and beneath the most beautiful Christmas tree we would ice skate. And to top it all off I would watch a Christmas Carol every day on million dollar movies. I have many happy memories.

Fast forward to my son’s childhood where we celebrated both holidays. My son who has been diagnosed with ADHD had an enormous difficulty delaying gratification (he actually still does at 22). The buildup for that one magical day and anticipation of opening Chanukah gifts tested his difficulty to the max. Even though my husband and I tried to play down the holidays the message was everywhere. In the stores, at school, and on TV. The same message over and over… The pressure buildup was incredible. And when that most special day of the whole year finally came the letdown for my son was immense.

Thinking back to my own childhood, I wished we had done something similar for our son. Celebrating the season as a festival of lights and participating in the same activities every year. Such as watching the Prudential building tree being lit and going to Downtown Crossing to view the candle for the first night of Chanukah being turned on. I don’t know if this would have alleviated some of my son’s let down but it might have slowed down the light going out.