Parent Coach Susan asks….Do You Feel Appreciated For All You Do?

Posted by Susan Epstein on March 11th, 2009 at 11:44am

  The author Anne Tyler wrote,  “One sad thing about this world is that the acts that take the most out of you are usually the ones that other people will never know about.”
 
   Did you ever spend an entire day shopping and cooking a meal from scratch?
 
   When you served that meal did your kids either complain about the food or misbehave at the table?
 
   Did you then find yourself thinking or saying?
 
   “This meal took me all day and no one appreciates it! From now on you can all eat cereal!”
 
 
  Or have you been doing laundry, folding it and putting it away and no one says a word? And…
 
   Maybe that’s okay with you because you love to cook and wash clothes but…
 
   Maybe….you are feeling resentful that the kids complain and don’t appreciate you…
 
   And on top of that, perhaps you feel guilty because you have been irritable or crabby towards them…
 
  It’s possible that you have even yelled at them for not being grateful and appreciating you.
 
   I want you to begin asking yourself why you do certain things for your kids. Not knowing why we do certain things can lead to feelings of resentment.
 
    Sometimes we want acknowledgement…like for dinner, or laundry or just because we are the parent.
 
   But…I have to tell you the hard truth…
 
   Most days your kids aren’t going to thank you and if you are doing things for thank yous…you will end up feeling unappreciated.
 
 
   So…two things you can do…

*   Do what feels good without expectation and…
 
*   Teach your kids how to be grateful.

   Make one night a week “kids cook”…and serve you…throw on the praise and let them know how much it means to you….maybe like a boomerang those sentiments will come back at you! Teach your kids to do their own laundry so they know what goes into having clean clothing neatly folded and cared for.

   Kids don’t learn by lectures, they learn by doing.

  Please share a time you felt unappreciated by your kids and also a time you felt appreciated by them. Let’s rid unnecessary guilt from our homes today!

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Tags: appreciation, dinner time, free parenting help, Laundry, parent discussion, parenting advice

Under Children+ Family+ Teens/Tweens